and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
