DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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