speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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