im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
