I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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