babies were throwing up all over the place
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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