So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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