do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think my vagina is haunted
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
