I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
