i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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