a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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