I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
