You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
