my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
