Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
