:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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