There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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