Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
