the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
