Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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