so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
