How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we made out on top of his cat.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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