Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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