I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
