my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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