So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
