Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
