PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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