either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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