just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can't special order awesome
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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