Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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