I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
