tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
