Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
