I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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