Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she peed on how many people?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
