Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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