don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
