I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
