I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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