I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
