so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
