No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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