p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
