yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
