my vag is so smooth its legendary
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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