Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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