So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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