whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the condom got lost in my hair
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Terrible idea I love it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
