The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We need to get me chipped asap
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
