Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
