hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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