So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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