the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
