the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
