The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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