You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
