this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize