some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
