I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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