i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
